Creative Success Depends on Long View
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In this podcast, we feature author Taylor Marsh, who [read more]
The Midlife Sage Asks: What’s So Funny?
The words “Cook in your underwear” aren’t that funny.
But in the context of a speech I gave last week to the Idaho Association of School Administrators, the phrase prompted 500 people to spontaneously laugh out loud. For a speaker and [...]
The Midlife Sage Says: You Don’t Need to Shop ’til You Drop
Using free time.
While on a business trip, most women use their free time to exercise in the hotel gym, find the nearest wine bar, or pretend they are comfortable browsing in Saks Fifth Avenue. I usually combine all three by briskly walking [...]
Why Funny is Always Fashionable
You know you’re at peace with yourself and the universe if you can enter a crowded social function, scan the room, and then join the group creating the most laughter.
After a certain age, you don’t waste time with pseudo-intellectuals, plastic-faced [...]
Hallucinating With Storybook Friends
I recently experienced a knee injury so painful that I sobbed until tears and snot covered my face, and I ignored my mother’s admonishment to wear fancy underwear before going to the hospital.
After x-rays confirmed damaged ligaments, a doctor [...]
The Midlife Sage: How To Plan And Survive Your Midlife Birthday
By: Elaine Ambrose
September 10, 2014 | Comments Off on The Midlife Sage: How To Plan And Survive Your Midlife Birthday
My most memorable childhood birthday could be a case study for why some people need therapy.
My mother’s baby died during childbirth a few weeks before my 8th birthday, so my gift was a big doll with all the clothes that had been intended [...]
Midlife Dating: That Hot Feeling Isn’t Always Menopause
By: Elaine Ambrose
September 5, 2014 | Comments Off on Midlife Dating: That Hot Feeling Isn’t Always Menopause
Nothing screams “pathetic loser” more than being a middle-aged divorcee alone at a festive party where beautiful couples are trading sloppy kisses and giggling like demented clowns.
There’s not enough spiked punch in the world to soften [...]
The Midlife Sage Says: Go Hang A Banana
The world is smoldering toward catastrophic self-destruction, so it’s only sensible that I take a brief moment of clarity to offer this lovely tidbit of advice before the final tragic calamity ignites the end of civilization.
If you want to [...]
The Midlife Sage: Learning From The World’s Great Chefs
By: Elaine Ambrose
August 11, 2014 | Comments Off on The Midlife Sage: Learning From The World’s Great Chefs
A few years ago, I traveled on a cooking tour of Italy and learned how to make authentic dishes with acclaimed Chefs Antonia and Giulianna at the Villa Serego Alighieri near Verona.
The property, surrounded by vineyards, olive trees, and fruit [...]
The Midlife Sage: From Harley-Davidsons To Hostess Ding Dongs
By: Elaine Ambrose
July 14, 2014 | Comments Off on The Midlife Sage: From Harley-Davidsons To Hostess Ding Dongs
In a former life, I rode a Harley-Davidson motorcycle, drank gallons of cold beer, ate greasy chicken wings, and made love at noon in a mountain meadow.
Now I drive an SUV, sip laxative tea, and snack on protein bars. Passion is pleasurable, [...]
Podcast: The Midlife Laughter Challenge
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Elaine Ambrose, who through her books, blogs, and speaking engagements, encourages women over fifty to discover the happiness that comes from having a consistent laughter routine.
Her new book, Midlife Cabernet, recently won a [...]
Saying “Happy Birthday” To An Ex-Father
For ten years, I enjoyed membership in a large Italian family, and they excelled in festive reunions, dramatic gestures, abundant food and drink, and naming several people Michael.
After I canceled my membership by divorcing one of the Michaels, [...]
The Joys Of Traveling With Your Children (Over 30)
By: Elaine Ambrose
July 8, 2014 | Comments Off on The Joys Of Traveling With Your Children (Over 30)
If given the choice between traveling with small children and having a root canal, I’d be at the dentist office sucking laughing gas before noon.
I adore kids but the logistics of getting them more than 100 miles is too much to endure [...]
The Midlife Sage Says: Take The “Midlife Laughter Challenge”
By: Elaine Ambrose
June 24, 2014 | Comments Off on The Midlife Sage Says: Take The “Midlife Laughter Challenge”
Because women over age 50 want yet another test, I’m offering the “Midlife Laughter Challenge” for those who still believe that life needs a middle-aged chuckle instead of a middle finger.
The challenge is to laugh at least [...]
The Midlife Sage: My 50-Pound Speed Bump
Do you run out of the door while texting and juggling a loaded alligator bag the size of a real alligator?
Do you leave on a relaxing vacation and take a laptop computer, an IPad, and a cell phone and all the necessary electronic chargers that [...]
The Midlife Sage Says: How To Find Sweet Love After A Sour Divorce
When I was invited to a New Year’s Eve party several years ago, I did what any 45-year-old divorced woman would do.
I rented a costume complete with velvet gown, a jeweled crown, and ornate scepter and went as “The Queen of Everything”.
There [...]
The Midlife Sage: You Can Enjoy A Family Vacation Without Drama Or Lawsuits
I recently joined my adult children and their families on a wonderful trip to the Oregon Coast.
This is a remarkable achievement for me because I have two brothers within a day’s drive of my home and we would rather eat rancid snot than [...]
The Midlife Sage: Redefining Grandmother
My grandmothers were the quintessential matrons: they grew lush gardens, baked pies, canned peaches, crocheted doilies, and then peacefully passed away in their nineties.
My life has been a bit different, and I just hope I don’t die tomorrow [...]
The Midlife Sage: Keeper Of The DNR File
The call comes at any hour: “Your mother is in an ambulance on the way to the hospital.”
I grab the DNR File and go, anticipating that she will survive the latest calamity just as she has for the past 86 years. Her mind and body are frail [...]
The Midlife Sage: A Thanks And An Apology To My Former Teachers
As teachers prepare to return to work, and I’d like to remind them that their labors are not in vain.
Someday, maybe forty years from now, they will receive a thank you and/or apology from former students who have succeeded in life without [...]
The Midlife Sage Says: Water the Artificial Flowers
This week I visited Mom at her care facility, and we enjoyed a bland, soft-food lunch in the pleasant dining room.
During the meal she dumped her water glass into the vase of plastic flowers on the table, explaining that the blossoms lasted [...]
The Midlife Sage Says: Colonoscopies Redefine The Term “Old Farts”
The good news: I lost several pounds in 24 hours.
The bad news: a stranger inserted a camera at least a mile up my fanny and then she charged me $1,500 for the privilege. But the procedure known as a colonoscopy could save my life.
Because I [...]
The Midlife Sage Says Public Breastfeeding Can Be Expressed In Good Taste
I recently attended an elegant wedding at a seaside resort where the gift table and the guests were well-endowed.
However, there was some engorged indignation at the reception as two perky women nursed their babies without discreetly covering [...]
The Midlife Sage Says: Survive A Sleepover Without Needing A Manual Or Medication
When my charming granddaughter Sweetie Pie is finished with her meal, she throws the dishes and leftover food from her high chair tray onto the floor.
She then proceeds to cross her arms, and smile at me. I tried this once in a restaurant and [...]
The Midlife Sage: Granny’s Guidelines For Graduates
I’m the commencement speaker next week at the College of Southern Idaho.
I could tell them they are doomed, there aren’t any jobs, the country is on the brink of destruction, they’ll never get out of debt, and they should move into the [...]
The Midlife Sage Says: Avoid Death By Hyperbole
Middle-aged women are entitled to an occasional Snark Attack so they can stomp on civility and ridicule annoying behavior.
This happened recently as I was reading messages on Facebook and then indignantly scoffed at some of the dramatic and [...]
The Midlife Sage Says It’s Okay To Run Away
Are you so stressed and tired you don’t care if your shoes match?
Are you being unjustly criticized by obnoxious people? Do you feel like crap because your exercise bike is a clothes hanger and you just finished a one-pound bag of M&Ms? [...]
The Midlife Sage: The Proper Care & Coddling Of Curmudgeons
I see old people.
And there is one looking back at me in the mirror. Just yesterday I was cruising down the road in my 1972 Firebird swaying to some saucy songs from Carole King’s Tapestry album blaring on my 8-track stereo and now I’m driving [...]
The Midlife Sage: Dealing With Death, Taxes, And Independence
Are your taxes done?
Does your accountant begin to have seizures when you come to your appointment? Are you promising that this year you will do a better job of keeping accurate records so you don’t need to frantically search for documents [...]
Midlife Sage Says: Let’s Discuss Kegels, Incontinence, And Crazy Caballeros
There is a reason most middle-aged women don’t ride on galloping horses, jump on trampolines, or finish a set of jumping jacks during exercise class.
We wet our pants. Throw in a simple sneeze and it’s all over, literally. Even [...]
The Midlife Sage Says: Enjoy A Family Vacation Without Drama Or Trauma
You’ve seen the advertisements.
They feature glossy photos of deliriously happy families laughing together on vacation. Keep in mind that these people are paid strangers and will never see each other again. For a sobering reality check, remember [...]
The Midlife Sage: The Fun Of Falling In Love At Fifty
Falling in love.
Nothing screams “pathetic loser” more than being a middle-aged divorcee alone at a festive party where beautiful couples are trading sloppy kisses and giggling like demented clowns. There’s not enough spiked punch in the [...]
The Midlife Sage Says: Here’s a Survival Guide in Five Easy Paragraphs
Life experience.
Some of you have been around the block enough times to know where to avoid the mud and dog poop or when to stop and smell the roses. Others, however, refuse to try a better path so they continue to trip over the same obstacles. [...]
The Midlife Sage Says: Plan Your Own Play Day
Local children get all excited when the schools are closed for a snow day.
As an evolving curmudgeon, I snort with scorn because in my day we walked miles through a blizzard for the privilege of going to school so we could postpone our chores [...]
The Midlife Sage Says: How to Raise Amazing Children
My son works in law enforcement.
His job often requires him to enter homes where good parenting skills aren’t a priority. It’s difficult to prepare a nutritious family meal when the kitchen has been converted into a meth lab and the toddler [...]
The Midlife Sage Says: Make Your Own Music In 2013
The songs of the holidays.
I grew up listening to The Captain and Tennille singing about “Muskrat Love” and The Carpenters warbling “Sing of good things, not bad. Sing of happy, not sad.”
I believe those two songs were solely responsible [...]
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