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If Holiday Stress Is A Disease, The Virus Is Your Expectations

The holiday season steriotypically has always been portrayed as a time of fun, joy and warmth with family, friends and colleagues. But it can also be a time of pain and high expectations. And the inevitable disappointments that follow those [...]

Opposites Attract, But They May Not Last, Unless…

Most couples can name several ways in which they’re opposites: neatness versus sloppiness; extroversion versus introversion; being high-strung versus laid-back preferring city versus country living, etc. And I’m sure you have something [...]

Should I Stay Or Should I Go? Take This Self-Assessment

If your relationship were afire, is it still burning strongly? Flickering? Smoldering? Does it need kindling? A log? Or has the last spark of it burned out to the point where it’s even too late for more oxygen? After all, your relationship [...]

4 ‘Dangerous’ Yet Crucial Things Every Parent Should Encourage

I am a psychologist who works with adults, who are often very high achievers. So when I am asked if I see children in my practice, my routine tongue-in-cheek quip is, “only those in adult bodies.” More seriously, I’ve seen [...]

Your Best Mantra For 2014

If you were to ask me what one thing the vast majority of the thousands of clients I’ve seen in my clinical psychology practice over the last 38 years have had in common, the answer might shock you. Almost without exception, what brings people [...]

Don’t Be Ambivalent About Ambivalence

Ambivalence is a feeling that we all have experienced at one time or another in some important aspect of our lives. I know I certainly have. But if you’re ambivalent often or in a lot of areas of your life, the feeling of ambivalence itself [...]

Give Your Relationship Rules A Makeover

Most relationships have a set of “built in” rules. These rules define your relationship “default position”; such as, what can and cannot take place between you and your partner (and others in your life) and what constitutes that which [...]

Helping Your Children Get Through The Crisis Of Divorce

Divorce is never a simple matter logistically or emotionally. And when there are children involved, often the hardest part is to put your own emotional issues aside in order to do some very difficult parenting feats. Here are some ways to help [...]

When Jealousy Visits Your Relationship

Practically everyone has experienced it. Everyone whose been in a serious romantic relationship with all of the deliciously intense and passionate feelings that go with it, have at one time or another experienced jealousy, which is really the [...]

Weathering A Financial Crisis That’s Close To Home

An unfortunate reality of difficult economic times is that layoffs and cutbacks become business as usual. And economic crisis or unemployment can throw even the best functioning families into emotional turmoil as nothing before it has. With [...]

3 Tips For Conquering Job Burnout

Can you relate to the following scenario? You once approached your work in a dedicated, passionate and enthusiastic way. You were eager and excited about your responsibilities.  While you were aware that there are built in frustrations in [...]

Four Things For New Graduates To Consider Before Accepting Their First Job

In his classic book Oh, the Places You’ll Go, the great Dr. Seuss said “Congratulations! Today is your day. You’re off to Great Places! You’re off and away!” This epitomizes the excitement new graduates experience as they pick [...]

Three Mistakes “Helicopter Parents” Make That Prevent Their Children From Growing Up

The term “helicopter parent” is a relatively new one in our culture, but the practice is quite prevalent. When a child leaves home (for college, for instance, or even overnight camp) the helicopter parent does exactly what the term implies [...]

How To Make A Shift In The Shortest Time Possible

When there’s something important in your life you’d like to change, like being less anxious, having better communication in your marriage or coping with a stressful work situation, the process of figuring out where to begin can feel daunting. Sometimes [...]

The Sandwich Generation: When You Are Parenting Your Children And Aging Parents At The Same Time

In my recent article, I discussed some of the common myths that often hold parents back from doing what it takes to help their adult children to launch into independence. Some parents who are still caring for their children as well as their [...]

Retirement Planning For The Psyche

Many times throughout the years, I have observed anecdotally that people have a higher risk of mortality shortly after retirement. And there’s even some empirical evidence of this.  For example, in a study of past employees of Shell Oil, [...]

4 Reasons To Swap Regret Over Your Breakup For Excitement

If you’ve recently experienced a relationship breakup, regret is one of the many emotions you might be experiencing. But regret is usually just a form of temporary and needless pain. Here are a few perspectives to make the end of your relationship [...]

3 Lists You Can Make To Boost Your Self-Confidence

No one is perfect. And we all have numerous characteristics that comprise our personalities and abilities. But for some, that nagging voice in your head that points out your flaws might be drowning out your ability to truly reflect on and appreciate [...]

3 Steps Toward Making Your Dream A Reality

Do you have many dreams you’d like to make come true? If there’s so much you want to do but in reality, so little time to do it, the feeling of overwhelm itself can actually hold you back from accomplishing any of your major goals. If this [...]

3 Myth’s To Help You Address Your Adult Child’s “Failure To Launch”

Failure to launch. Either returning home after being away to college, leaving the nest, or having never moved out to begin with, there is generally a variation of one or both of these two scenarios. For some of these young adults, the current [...]

The Dark Side Of Perfectionism

Do you find that trying to do things too perfectly is a source of stress for you? While doing your best is certainly a virtue, perfectionism has a major down side. The problem is that many people mistake perfectionism for working their hardest, [...]

The Most Powerful Word In The English Language?

I’ll spare you the tease. That word is NO! The ability to be assertive and say ‘no’ is a communication skill we all learn at a very young age.  If you’re a parent, you know better than anyone that once this word enters a child’s vocabulary [...]

How Many Frogs Must You Kiss?

Have you been on what feels like hundreds of dates, but found no one who fits the bill? While this might at times feel discouraging, the truth is if you were willing to accept almost anyone, you probably could have a relationship tomorrow. If [...]

Can An Affair Make Your Relationship Stronger?

If you’ve recently found out your partner has had an affair (or perhaps you’re the one who has), your first reaction might be to assume it’s inevitable that the relationship will end. With the emotional rollercoaster you might be experiencing, [...]

A Very Worthwhile Novel About PTSD

What does it mean to survive war trauma? If you ask a soldier who has fought in Vietnam, Iraq or Afghanistan, or any of the wars America has been involved in, he or she might tell you that it means, “You came back home alive but not the same.” They [...]

Success Is Such An Elusive Word

“Success” is an elusive word, simply because it means different things to different people. Believe it or not, I’ve met some of the most successful people in my psychology practice who actually consider themselves “failures” because [...]

Discover Ingredients For A Fulfilling Relationship

Whether you are in a relationship or looking for one, you’ve probably noticed something rather obvious. Not all of us are looking for the exact same things in a love relationship. Most of us have unique priorities when it comes to what we [...]

When Dating, Keep Your Eye On The Prize

What are your goals? If you are dating or new to the singles scene and thinking about dating, let me ask you this: What are your goals?  Are you looking for a life partner?  Companionship?  A fun sexual relationship?  Close your eyes and [...]

Shoulda, Coulda, Woulda: How To Make A Decision You Won’t Regret!

Wouldn’t it be nice if you could always approach big decisions head on and feel no regret, regardless of the outcome? As Yogi Berra famously said; “when you approach a fork in the road, take it”. But seriously, why are decisions often [...]

Does Every New Relationship Feel Like Déjà Vu? How To Break That Pattern

We, as humans, are creatures of habit. But while patterns and rituals are typically helpful in maximizing brain space, certain patterns in our relationships don’t usually serve us. For example, finding yourself in the “same relationship” [...]

Be The Master Of Your Emotions

Do you find that at times your emotions get the best of you? What do you usually do when you feel that you’re on the brink of a “meltdown”? Maybe you turn to someone else to console you or maybe you self medicate with drugs, alcohol or [...]

It’s Passion That Blurs The Lines Separating Work And Play

According to Forbes, in 2012 only 50% of adults reported being satisfied with their jobs. Job dissatisfaction can greatly increase levels of anxiety, depression and stress. If this speaks to you, there are a variety of reasons why you may be [...]

Bringing Sexy Back

Reclaiming Your Sexuality If you’ve been out of the dating scene for a while, are thinking about entering a new relationship, or have found that your relationship has become “sexless”, the idea of having a sexual encounter can be very [...]

Make Your Relationship Stronger With These Communication Tools

When life’s in full swing, it’s easy to neglect communicating to your partner what’s important in your relationship. And you’re communicating well, when your partner actually hears the message you mean for him or her to hear. This doesn’t [...]

Don’t Let Your Expectations Do You In

Whether your anger stems from road rage, your relationship, your job, or anything else in your life, the underlying cause might be the same. It’s easy to blame the driver who cut you off, your partner, or your boss for “making you feel angry”, [...]