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Midlife Sage-What I Wish I Had Known As A Young Woman

Avoid the muck

Women spend too many years struggling and stressing through all the crap of daily life before they finally realize the aching truth: Damn, I should have taken the path around the bog! That’s the road that avoids the muck and takes you directly to the charming coffee shop in the quaint village, the delightful place with overstuffed chairs, stacks of good books, and pleasant clerks who bring free, fresh-baked cookies while a handsome musician plays your favorite songs. You relax there until your lover calls with a sultry invitation to a night of passion. Yup, that’s where you want to be – as soon as you crawl out of the mess that clings like dog poop on a new shoe.

My blog Sassy Sage, www.sassysage.com, offers words of wisdom from a tested mentor and a feisty survivor. Over several decades, I have fallen into and escaped from the slings and arrows of outrageous misfortune, the manic moods of menopause, and the jobs from hell. I’ve birthed children who brought me dandelion bouquets as toddlers and then slammed the door as defiant teenagers only to return years later with roses.

I’ve married and divorced and tried again. And, I’ve endured betrayal, belittlement, and bad bosses. So, it’s with strong reflection and a bold Cabernet that I now sit back in my comfortable khakis and sweater to give younger women some nuggets of knowledge that I wish I had known earlier.

Some tidbits of wisdom

  1. You’re where you are supposed to be. Instead of cursing lousy circumstances, your parents, the cosmos, or your crooked nose, accept your current situation and go forward.
  2. If you don’t like where you are, do something about it. The problem could be a lousy job, a stifling relationship, too much physical or mental garbage, or the fact that there is no way in hell you’re going to fit into those jeans by the weekend. What will you do about it?
  3. Money matters. Learn how to earn and manage it. Remember that no one owes you a living.
  4. Sex is fun. Learn how to do and enjoy it. I’m the oldest one with hickeys at the gym!
  5. Friends are essential. Find and keep some and be one. Dump the bad ones.
  6. Your children will grow up and be gone in two minutes. And, they will watch how you care for your elderly parents. Proceed with care.
  7. Use or lose your talents. That creative novel, unique sculpture, or abundant garden won’t appear without some effort.
  8. Volunteer and donate to charity and you’ll have riches beyond measure.
  9. Keep physically fit and eat healthy or suffer debilitating consequences that money can’t fix.
  10. An attitude of gratitude trumps overconfidence. Believe in a Higher Power.

If I follow my own advice, I know that I’m where I’m supposed to be – this experienced, opinionated traveler who has packed and unpacked a lifetime of suitcases, burdens, and treasurers. Join me sometime with a glass of wine. Tell me your stories, and I’ll share mine. No matter the age, we still have much to learn.