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Conversations With The Tuesday Night Girls: Got Milk?

You learned from my last posting that I joined a dating service a few months ago, and was quite disappointed with it.

I did eventually drop my membership, but before I did, I met a man who is a doctor of biology, specializing in lactation, and our first real conversation put us at odds with each other:  droopy breasts as a result of nursing babies.  Of course, he knew the scientific term for this:  ptosis (silent “p”).

Having been a subject previously discussed by our little klatch of friends, I told him that we girls were glad we didn’t know about ptosis before we decided to nurse our babies, because at that young age, we might have decided against it, not having had the experience of knowing how beneficial it is for the baby.  He insisted that breast feeding couldn’t cause this phenomenon, and he had medical studies to back that opinion, which he promptly provided to me.

I brought copies of the studies to the Tuesday girls, and at first, they were scandalized that I had had such a conversation with a perfect stranger.  But he was a doctor, for heaven’s sake!  And, I’m not particularly shy when it comes to asking questions, which made me the likely candidate to get to the bottom of the issue.

We girls swiftly determined that the findings in those studies had been compiled primarily by men who proffered that heredity and gravity were actually the culprits, and that it was foolishness to believe that nursing a baby would cause such a condition.

Just because it doesn’t happen to other mammals, doesn’t mean it can’t happen to humans, right?

Doesn’t experience count for anything?

I told him the real test would be for the Tuesday Night Girls to weigh in on the subject.  And we, of course, never being short on scientific opinion, on the count of three lifted our shirts for inspection and proof.  No, not in front of the doctor.

The overall feeling was that nursing had indeed ruined our chests.   Those who didn’t nurse were still perky in their 50’s; the rest of us were frowning with despair.  Let’s face it, ladies, our girls are just plain tired!  They’ve been engorged and suckled a dozen times a day for months on end, for each baby we brought into this world…of course they are going to look like baseballs in a sock!

We rest our case.

See you next Tuesday!

Read more posts by Claire Butler, blogger for JenningsWire