“Hey, let’s go to the mall and pick up a few things,” she says.
“Na,” he replies. “I want to fix up my tools. Outside work coming up before you know it.” She drives off – a little disappointed that it’s the weekend, and he doesn’t want to spend time with her. He’s in the garage, content, and totally oblivious that his partner is upset. A pretty innocuous conversation started all this but people are different and one person’s idea of happiness may not be another’s.
Perhaps the biggest thing that makes your brand of happiness different from your partner is the type of person you are. The over-arching types are introvert and extrovert – terms you’ve heard before, and you probably know which type you are too. Introverts derive their energy from being alone – away from the maddening crowd. Extroverts thrive in the company of others, and draw their energy from the people around them.
The type of person you are does define the external choices you will make to try to be happy.
Sometimes this key factor is overlooked or forgotten when one party is caught up in planning or doing something they feel is pleasant and includes the other party, and subsequently they wonder why the latter is not enjoying themselves. When taken personally, which happens sometimes, there’s fallout – leaving both individuals unhappy.
She – going to mall, and he – working on his tools, have both made choices to do what makes them content. It’s no secret as to what types they are. If this is recognized, then the capability to understand why he prefers to stay home allows her to drive away without personal disappointment. They’re both “being themselves”. Where this relationship will thrive is in the level of commitment and compromise to ensure he and she do spend time together even though they may be as different as night and day, and have a different take on what makes them individually happy.
Read more posts by Kita Szpak.