A male acquaintance casually mentions that he has, say, an extra ticket to some show and wonders if I’d like to check it out with him. I go, we have fun, I drive myself home. The next time we talk, he refers to it as our “date”. What the what?
You can’t go on a date with me without my knowledge—that’s called drive-by dating!
Drive-by dating is when you roam the streets looking for random women (doesn’t matter who; it’s not personal) to focus your sniper-like attention on, wait until she’s standing in front of an open window of opportunity, and then spray her with emotional bullets of your delusion and neediness.
- If I see you every morning at Starbucks, that doesn’t mean we have a long-term relationship.
- If we discover that we both love Steven Soderbergh films, that doesn’t mean that we’re soulmates.
- If I let you use the bathroom in my apartment when you drop me off, that doesn’t mean we’re living together.
- If we both do our banking at Chase, that doesn’t mean we have a joint account.
- If I ate at Starfish Sushi once, and you ate at Starfish Sushi once, that doesn’t mean we had dinner together.
Are you starting to get the picture? And no, not as in our wedding portrait.
I don’t know where so many guys got the idea that getting a girl to date you must be done on the sly, without her permission, and devoid of any kind of discussion. Do you think that if you secretly date her she will accidentally fall in love with you? Au contraire, my friend.
So, if you’re going to suggest we grab a coffee and then call it a date, I’m going to take half of everything in your wallet and call it alimony.
Read more posts by Selena Templeton, love and relationship expert. Selena blogs for JenningsWire.
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