I can’t say the phrase “Forget About Me I Love You”* is mine – Dr. Timothy Lau, a Canadian psychiatrist used it in the course of a conversation about happiness I had with him a couple of years ago.
At the time, I was taken by it – what an accurate and simple way to talk about family.
And it is true, when family issues come to the fore your own priorities are put on the back burner. I haven’t written a blog for jenningswire for three months (Hope you’re not reading this, Annie!) but now that my Mom has made the move from her town to mine, and settled into a retirement home nearby, my time has opened up again.
Initially the “forgetting about me” is difficult to do. You feel stressed about fitting in another responsibility into an already packed schedule. At first, you feel you can handle everything – “I’ll just get up earlier,” you say to yourself, as you accommodate the unexpected family news: son has broken his leg playing basketball and needs a drive to school, the doctor’s, to physio; brother Ron – the packrat – has solicited your help to help him move; Aunt Doris has finally died after a long illness and you’re the sole niece on deck to help with the funeral arrangements…
The getting up early or going to bed late to squeeze in that hour of “me” time can only go so far until you risk your own health trying to do it all. A decision has to be made, and it’s here that “Forget About Me I Love You” comes into play. Sacrificing one’s activities for the sake of other family members, who need your help, takes compassion, maturity, and endurance.
Listen, I’m the first one to think, “but it’s not fair, I’ve been raising my kids, working full-time and taking a course to up my career credentials…and now this.” Yeah, life isn’t fair, is it? So what are you going to do about it? Rant and complain? Disown the family? Confront the son, brother, the aunt (harder to do if she’s already dead) about their lousy timing and how they’re screwing up your schedule?
Hopefully not…here’s where you take a deep breath to calm yourself and realize three things: one, the situation is not forever; two, you’ve got it pretty good – missing the book club, the workout, the beer with the guys won’t break you; and three, they’re family and deserve your help. After all, if you were in the same position, wouldn’t you want a family member to “Forget About Me I Love You”?
*Dr. Timothy Lau, geriatric psychiatrist, University of Ottawa, Canada
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The post is presented by the National Publicist, Annie Jennings of the NYC based PR Firm, Annie Jennings PR. Annie Jennings PR specializes in marketing books for getting authors booked on radio talk show interviews, TV shows in major online and in high circulation magazines and newspapers. Annie also works with speaker and experts to build up powerful platforms of credibility and influence.