Do You Feel Comfortable in Your Skin?
Continuance of Love Yourself First: Dressing for Success
Actually, I couldn’t tell you the name of the advertiser in the commercials focusing on male athletes that state they feel comfortable in their own skin. Instead, I focused on the man basically saying I love who I am and I like myself. The man is usually relaxed sitting on a stool outwardly portraying a positive self image. (On a side note, why don’t they use women too?).
One of the athletes is John Elway. He talks about how his kids are embarrassed when he gets on the dance floor, but he pays no mind to their chiding. A picture of this event flashes behind him as he relays the story. Now, one could say this is an act for the cameras and he is getting paid a lot of money. This may be true, but the scenario stuck in my head. How many of you feel good enough about yourself to do something that seems awkward to others and in fact may look awkward, but it is ok because it is part of who you are?
I know this little example is very common among all of us. These little things can make us fill uncomfortable in our skin like there is something not right. We end up second guessing ourselves. Why do we let this happen to us? The key word here is ‘let’; we have a choice not to.
The truth does not have to hurt
I remember the time when newly married, I would be kidded for being naïve…like that was a bad thing? Being so young, I did not like being put down. I should have not taken it as a put down. But, instead I should have felt inside and maybe even stated outwardly…I am naïve in some things and I like it…it is who I AM! And just like the relaxed poised athletes in the commercials, I should be able to deliver it in a matter of fact manner silently stating… it is not big deal, I am ME and that is a Good thing!
So what do we do? Train thy brain.
Somewhere in our childhood we have decided that these kinds of statements are demeaning to us. Who knows how or why. The point is we need to redirect those types of thoughts. That takes work. Your brain is trained to react negatively from past experiences. We now need to train our brains to be proactive. It will take conscious thinking and actions to do this. There are two little things I recommend:
- In the first blog of this series, The First Step is to Love Yourself, I talked about starting positive statement cards and reading them every day. One point to remember is not to write a negative statement. For example: I am not naïve. Instead you should say, I am a good person and I like who I am. The ‘not naïve’ accentuates the possible fault and attaches a negative connotation. So begin writing and saying statements every day that accept who you are from a loving perspective. Begin to love who you are.
- Start a journal. For the first entry list all the things that are great about you and that you love about yourself. Read them to yourself every day. I am…..
We will talk about other entries as we go along.
What does all this mean in relation to dressing for success?
If you look back at the commercials I mentioned earlier, there is an unstated persona that exudes from these people that signals I like who I am and I feel good about me. That is a feeling of success. That is where it all starts….from WITHIN. Like I said before, we can find the right outfit and say all the right things, but if we cannot deliver our non verbal behavior as successful, we just cancelled out the total package of Dressing for Success.