Here are 5 Relationship Secrets I wish I knew 10 Years Ago
1. Don’t change your hair color. Yeah growing up near Hollywood I thought it was cool to be punk rock and have been blue haired to every color of the rainbow, until I learned that thousands of years ago, our forebears took great pains to often wear the same uniform outfit and NEVER change their look and depart from the natural beauty God gave them. Why? It turns out to be because of the way men are wired. Men are very visual creatures and whatever they fell in love with about you in the first place is what will keep them in love! Society erroneously programs us these days that at some point, plastic surgery and a change of hair color will spice up your sex appeal but boy is this WRONG! Maybe this explains why the flame dies and no one can put a finger on just why, especially when the woman tries so many different looks to appeal to her man!
So wonder no more why those implants and dye job had the reverse effect – it is actually evolutionarily repulsive on men’s most basic primal level. The porn star he might ogle onscreen is not The Keeper. Physiologically, your perfect match will be attracted to your natural appearance. Once I learned that we wouldn’t even be here on an evolutionary level if our ancestors didn’t go to great lengths to preserve their natural appearance, I right away went back to my true hair color, use no make-up, and try to wear the same uniform outfit each day – a white dress of some sort.
2. White is the color of purity. Again, men being visual creatures beyond explanation can’t always verbalize what they think is hot “they just know it when they see it.” So don’t bother asking them – just look to science and human evolution t to see what HAS worked. There is a reason why brides wear white and vixens wear red. Do you wanna be pounced on or pronounced man and wife? Yeah, exactly. Where was this info when I was in my 20s? Geez. It would have made shopping a lot easier and faster. Thinking that to keep things exciting I need to change it up with a bunch of different colors actually confuses men. Not to be rude, cause Jehovah knows I love men more than anyone, but in a way, they are psychologically like babies. You can’t put a bunch of choices of food in front of a baby. It will just confuse them. Just give them the same bowl of mash they like each and every day and they will be happy. Really. PS women are babies too but that is a whole different blog post.
3. Don’t sleep with someone unless you can theoretically picture spending your life with them on some level. Yeah I know this is old fashioned but does new fashioned work? Tried it and ummm… Ok so maybe you are traveling in Madrid and you meet a totally hot stranger who is also in Madrid just that one night and you are both on a train and… But unless that is the scenario, I am definitely on the ixnay before engagement-say. Look at the word DATING. This is what we do when we cut open a tree and count the rings. Why do the French call an orgasm “The Little Death?” Sleeping with someone you are not bound to is aging you. There, now you are dated. Count the rings. The only ring that counts is the one on the finger next to your pinky. Suit yourself if you wanna keep dying a little by sleeping with random hotties.
4. No meat. You are what you eat and if you wanna be dead rotting decomposed flesh, then have at it. Remember beauty comes from within (your digestive tract!) Also many studies show that animals are fully cognizant of what happens at the slaughterhouse and just before dying, they release a bunch of fear hormones into their blood stream. Since energy is never lost – only transferred, you are literally injecting fear into your system with every bite of meat. No surf lady or surf lad can live in fear. And meat makes you taste less good. If you have any sort of odor issues with your body, try cutting out meat and see if you end up smelling like roses – something that grows out of the ground!!! There is a horrific new statistic that 1 in 3 Americans will contract some form of cancer during their life and much of this can be attributed to eating meat. Personally being in love makes me want to live a long healthy life free of fear while I TASTE and SMELL yummy, all of which is easier to achieve simply by cutting meat from my diet. Even my dog is vegetarian – yep they have vegetarian dog food and he is a very healthy muscular American Staffordshire Terrier
5. Don’t have Internet connection at your house. Seriously. We know this sounds crazy but come on – all our smart phones allow you to get online which you do enough at work anyway. A smart phone is enough after hours. Something about not having that IP energy invading directly into your homes keeps your sacred space sexier. This has to do with feng shui. Hey if your honey can’t spend off-work hours online, guess who they will focus their attention on instead??? Since this pretty much guarantees amorous activities, name your next child after Veronica Grey. Or at least wear a shirt with a giant red V on it like Chris Martin of Coldplay did.
When sparks of love fly after reading these secrets, let us know on twitter @ThankYouJehovah and we will GIFT you with a copy of “Rites of Love” by Vladimir Meg’re’. This book will bless your relationship and is a MUST for anyone intending an eternal flame to burn forever and for everyone who has ever thought something was dramatically wrong with how the energy of love circulates our world today.
Brought to you by Veronica Grey, who is currently in the process of applying for the Guinness Book of World Records for “Inspiring More Songs than any Person Alive.”
“If you want to know more,” says Veronica Grey, “please visit the IMDB pages below of rock icons like Martin Gore and Fletch of Depeche Mode; Tomo Milicevic of Thirty Seconds to Mars; Robert Smith of The Cure; Billy Corgan of Smashing Pumpkins; Vince Clarke of Erasure and Andrew VanWyngarden of MGMT.” Visit Veronica’s YouTube channel to see her segments on anti-aging and life extension: http://www.YouTube.com/TrueGreyt